


A Real Pickle

by Polomonkey



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is emotionally compromised, Blind Date, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Merlin has an evil hamster, Misunderstandings, Pets, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9342101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polomonkey/pseuds/Polomonkey
Summary: 'You just got stood up on a blind date and now you’re crying on a bench in the cold so I’ll comfort you and OH MY GOD I WAS YOUR DATE! THAT WAS TONIGHT?'





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mermie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mermie/gifts).



> Based on [this prompt](http://thepolomonkey.tumblr.com/post/155927887147/you-just-got-stood-up-on-a-blind-date-and-now) from the daily au tumblr. I wrote a short version of this for the Merthur con Coinelot and found it was given to the lovely Mermie! So here's an expanded version Mermie, and thank you for letting me know you liked it! <3

If crying on a bench wasn’t the most pathetic thing Arthur had ever done, it was at least in the top three. He hadn’t cried for nearly four years (sniffling at the end of Toy Story 3 did _not_ count, shut up Morgana) but it was all just too much. In the last month he’d broken his little toe, his best friend Leon had moved to Australia, and he’d been passed over for promotion in favour of an incompetent slacker who just happened to be the CEO’s nephew.

Being stood up for a stupid blind date was the final straw. Arthur hadn’t even wanted to do this in the first place. But Gwen had sworn that her friend was lovely and witty and clever and wasn’t it time Arthur tried getting back in the saddle? The saddle being Arthur’s poor excuse for a dating life since Percy had dumped him for being a workaholic eight months ago. It wasn’t as though he could blame the guy. Arthur had been so wrapped up in excelling at his job that he’d barely showed up for date night once a week.

Cenred getting promoted over him had been the absolute limit. Arthur had resolved to get a new job, one that he didn’t have to dedicate every waking moment to. And he had called Gwen that very night, to ask her to arrange a meeting with this friend of hers.

Friday night had rolled around and Arthur had showed up at Pinto’s bar, wearing the shirt that Morgana insisted went with his eyes and feeling a sense of low-key optimism. It was nice to get dressed up and feel those first date nerves again. This was what he had been missing.

Forty five minutes and two gin and tonics later, Arthur’s optimism had turned into despair. After making several increasingly desperate rounds of the bar and ascertaining that his phone was in fact in full working order, he had to admit to the inevitable. He’d been stood up, without so much as a brush-off text.

Clearly Gwen had been exaggerating her friend’s loveliness. Flushed with both anger and humiliation, Arthur slipped into his coat and made for the exit.

It was the anger that dissipated quicker. By the time he reached the park he was only left with a profound sense of embarrassment and a growing feeling of misery. Suddenly even the twenty minute walk to his flat seemed too long and Arthur found himself sinking down onto the bench beside the pond.

Tears pricked at his eyes and he couldn’t summon the energy to wipe them away. It was ridiculous but he was cold and he was tired and this latest bit of rejection was more than he could handle.

“Um, excuse me? Are you, um…”

Arthur looked up to see a slim man in a purple scarf hovering over him.

“Are you… alright?”

Arthur opened his mouth to say that of course he wasn’t alright and what kind of idiot would even ask that question, but to his embarrassment all that came out was a heaving sob.

“Oh dear,” the man said. “I suppose it was a stupid question.”

He dithered a little, hands flapping, and Arthur ducked his head, praying the man would just go away and leave him to mope in peace.

Like all his prayers of late, this one went unanswered. The man perched down on the bench next to Arthur.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Arthur shook his head.

“I think I have a tissue here if…”

Arthur shook his head again. When would this guy get the hint?

The man sighed softly and Arthur waited for him to get up and go.

“Would it help to see a picture of my hamster?”

_What?_

Arthur looked up at that, not sure he’d heard right. But the guy was fiddling with his phone, as though this was a perfectly normal thing to offer to a complete stranger.

Arthur opened his mouth to say no but then the man met his gaze, giving Arthur a tentative smile.

He was clearly a weirdo. But he was trying to be kind, at least…

Arthur nodded and the man beamed, holding his phone out.

“Here she is. My little fluff bomb.”

The photo showed what appeared to be a tiny white blob with eyes, attempting to eat a full sized carrot.

“She looks nice,” Arthur said uncertainly.

“Oh God no, she’s awful. Had to be separated from her siblings for trying to kill them. And she uses my hand as a chew-toy.”

He held up his hand, which was indeed covered in tiny bites.

In spite of himself, Arthur laughed.

“But she’s miniscule!”

“What she lacks in size, she makes up for in fury,” the man said sagely. “If she was any bigger I’d have probably been eaten by now.”

“Why not give her away?”

The man gasped in mock-offence.

“She’s family! You can’t give family away just ‘cause they’re a little on the bitey side.”

“That’s true,” Arthur said. “I used to beg my dad to give my sister away when she bit me but he was of the same opinion as you.”

“Good man,” the guy said. “I’m hoping this was a while ago though, or is your sister still as ferocious?”

Arthur snorted.

“Still definitely ferocious but she keeps her teeth to herself nowadays.”

“I’ve given up hope that Pickle will ever stop,” the man said gloomily.

“Wait, you called your hamster Pickle?”

“Yes.”

“No wonder she’s angry!”

“Oi!” the man said indignantly. “Pickle is an excellent hamster name and I resent your insinuations.”

“It’s a terrible hamster name! You should have called her… er…”

Okay, so perhaps hamster names were quite difficult. Arthur cast around for a while, pointedly ignoring the man’s triumphant look.

“Furball?” he tried at last and the man crowed.

“Harder than it sounds, isn’t it? I’m sticking with Pickle.”

“On your own hands be it,” Arthur said and the man waggled his bite-marked fingers, grinning broadly.

“I’ll survive. Feeling better?”

Arthur was. So much so that’d he forgotten the circumstances of their meeting entirely for a minute there. He flushed, reaching up to brush the last traces of tears away.

“Yeah. Um, thanks.”

The man gave him an approving nod, which alleviated some of Arthur’s embarrassment.

“So. Want to talk about it?”

Suddenly, Arthur did.

“It’s… lots of things. Work stuff. And my friend moved away. Got injured playing football. And then tonight… I had this blind date. At Pinto’s. But the guy never showed.”

“Oh damn, I’m sorry,” the man said sympathetically. “He must be a real jerk to… wait did you say Pinto’s?”

“Yes.”

The man had gone a peculiar shade of grey.

“What was the name of the guy you were meeting?”

“Kind of a weird one,” Arthur said ruefully. “It was-“

“Merlin,” the man finished.

“Yeah. How did you know that?”

“I’m Merlin!” the man wailed.

“What?” Arthur said, utterly nonplussed.

“I thought we were meeting tomorrow! You’re Arthur, right? I am so sorry, I had it in my diary, and I was really looking forward to it and I swear I double-checked, but I’m kind of scatty about stuff like this and-”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Breathe.”

A large part of Arthur was glorying in the fact that he hadn’t been stood up after all, that this wasn’t one more rejection to add to the list. And an even larger part was noting Merlin’s bright blue eyes and his delectably high cheekbones. It was a very pleasing window dressing on someone who seemed to be just as sweet and smart and funny as Gwen had promised.

“I’m really really sorry.”

“It’s honestly fine,” Arthur said, his grin taking over his whole face now.

“But I made you cry,” Merlin said miserably.

“And then you made me laugh. Even though you didn’t know me and I was just a stranger on a park bench. I think that says more about you than I would have found out on a blind date.”

Merlin smiled back then and Arthur couldn’t help but notice how lovely it made him look.

“Um, well, feel free to say no but… if you still fancied going to Pinto’s?”

“It’d be my pleasure,” Arthur said, and took Merlin’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Quick note: I've joined Fandom Trumps Hate, a fandom auction to benefit various charities. If you'd like me to write you a Merlin fic entirely to your specifications, please consider making a bid before Jan 19th! I'm happy to write almost anything, from porn to fluff to angst to romance! You can check my bid page out [here](http://thepolomonkey.tumblr.com/post/155748092702/polomonkey-fth-contributor-page) and the general auction with details of the charities being supported [here](http://fandomtrumpshate.tumblr.com/FAQ). 
> 
> As a HUGE bonus, the insanely talented [Mushroomtale](http://mushroomtale-fanart.tumblr.com//) has agreed to art for the fic so you'll basically be getting a two in one collab! Please feel free to message me on [tumblr](http://thepolomonkey.tumblr.com/) or [LJ](http://polomonkey.livejournal.com/) if you want to know more :)


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